You can almost hear the Deliverance music in the background.

I promise my life doesn’t typically revolve around alligators.  As a matter of fact, before the last couple of weeks I’m pretty sure the majority of my days were spent not giving them a second thought, having a) never even actually seen one, and b) not being married to the type of guy who owns lots of camo and spits chewing tobacco.  Although now that I think about it camo probably wouldn’t be very logical on the water, but I digress.

As I mentioned yeseterday, Seth had another gator hunt last night with a nuissance officer and a “gator specialist.”  Their plan was to go out but if they hadn’t caught anything by 1 a.m. to call it a night instead of staying out until the 6:30 a.m. deadline since in the words of the gator specialist:

“If you ain’t got one by midnight then one ain’t gonna git got.” 

Oh, Mr. Gator Specialist, what beautiful words of wisdom you speak.

I pooped out last night around one thinking Seth was probably soon on his way.

Fast forward to 6:20 this morning, when I get a wake-up text from the Mister:

Seth:  Time to wake up!  (his cell phone usually serves as our alarm)

Me: …no gator?

Seth:  No gator.  😦  It was too windy.

Me:  Then why in the world did you stay out there all night?

Seth:  I do not know.  That info was shared after the staying out all night part.

Me:  Ah.  Headed home?

Seth:  In a little while.  I ended up riding out here with Jeff and then they wanted to head back to his lodge to take a nap first…so I guess I’m just stuck here until they are ready to take me to my car.

So in short, I think my husband may have been lured away with the promise of aligators and kidnapped by a closeted gay nuissance control officer and an alligator specialist with very questionable credentials.  I can’t say that I blame them.  He is cute.

Needless to say I am quite glad this whole gator thing is about to be over.  Until next year, which I’m sure will be even worse as I fear this is the Mister’s new obsession.  If he tries to move the girls and I to a swamp somewhere, there’s going to be a problem, guys.

*This is where bloggers typically ask a question of their readers, something that is related to the post and encourages a response.  Given the topic of my post, the following is the best I could come up with*

…Have any of your husbands ever been spirited away and held hostage by closeted gay game-control officers?



*disclaimer:  I’m totally kidding about the gay game-control officer, in case that needed to be clarified.  I’m sure you are legit straight, sir.


3 responses

  1. Pingback: Well I guess that’s my sign. | oh bless her heart...

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